Patience. For some reason I am struggling with being patient and at peace. When you find something so great, so awesome, so appealing, and so desirable- it is a great challenge to hold back or to simply wait for the time to pass by for the great that you hope to come.
I am constantly reminded from deep inside that peace and patience are part are gained when you talk things out- open up what's going on in the inside and vent. Naturally we do this to another friend or person of trust or who is simply willing to listen. But as is the fact of life- we are not perfect and can't fill what only God can; We can not comfort, love, strengthen, encourage, enlighten, (and so on)- the way that only God can.
Coming to this realization- one word strikes me right between the eyes and into my mind and soul.

PRAY.

The one true God who always:
sees you,
thinks of you,
hears you,
wants to speak to you,
wants to simply be with you...He is the one that will pull us through all things that we will face.
Why do we take this perfect divine relationship for granted SO EASILY?
Why do we look to the brokenness around us for what only our Maker can give?

Free will- it truly is a burden.

I look forward to what is to come with no regrets of the past;
I hope that I may seek to always be close with The One who seeks always to be closer with me
...It's all about Love.

pressure

Done. All that is left is to print out my final research paper. Turn it in. Done.
Pray is all I can do now. I am not really worried about much though cuz' I know that I did and and doing what I need to be doing. Let me state that differently- I think I'm doing what I need to be doing; though I know I could do better.
We are not perfect.
All of us we break, fail, mess up, hurt others, break trust, become selfish, etc...
It's interesting how we can not truly protect someone from the reality of things...It's not our role to protect and guard others. No. We can only do so much help each other stay strong, encouraged, focused, faithful, obedient. However, pain, suffering, persecution, and hate are all inevitable in this life. Seriously- there will always be someone or something that hates all that you do and/or hates all that you are. whether you are seeking the eternal and spritual or not...there will always be haters.
In that case, how can you not put your trust and perspective in that which is beyond our natural flesh existence and that is above this dirt place?...but that's another issue.
We are all going to be hated and will suffer regardless of what we put our hearts and minds to.
But as a fellow brother or sister, to truly love is to point someone to where they need to be going towards; to point them towards where the creator of all, God Almighty, is calling them.
You can't hold onto anything that God wants to pull you away from. His path is far more reliable than your own; even if so don't think so. Our way is really just a means to an end that takes us no where.
This scripture resounds in my head and I looked it up-
"There is a way that seems right to a man,
but in the end it leads to DEATH."
~Proverbs14:12 (NIV)

is this path or way that you're on leading to death? to utter dead end?

Christ's words:
"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.
But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to LIFE, and only a few find it."
~Matthew7:13-14 (NIV)

Death will come to us all. What path or gate will you choose?
Seek and stay on the narrow road and gain life that surpasses the death comes to all.

...I don't know why I am still up and awake. I learned something from this too.
I wait and pray and hope that this is all in control by God and not by my own desires.
PrayLoveLive- its tough. I want to be closer but I can't control distance. Soon I hope to make it all clear and communicated. I am interested- but I have to wait. Keep it clear since we can't be near...Here we go.

special peeps

This past week is tough to describe adequately for what it truly was...It was full of being with friends and meeting new people who treated me like family- like as if I was a distant cousin or something but without the awkwardness of it.
Banquet of Fall2008- definitely one that will stand out amongst the ones in the past; and it wasn't the location, the food, the video, the gifts (though I loved the shot glasses regardless of what some people may have commented), or even the after party stuff that made this banquet so special. What made it all special and memorable was the time I shared with the people that I was with. Seriously, being with guys that are more than brothers to me and with friends that I was able to share the experience was what it was all about.
Then going up to the IE for the weekend and get love and hospitality from people that I met at the Rock Church was awesome. I'm being reminded that this life is all about touching the lives and hearts of other people.

*my big bro and his family, Christina and the Juarez/Adame family, all the people at the Rock youth ministry, and everyone else that I cross paths with this weekend- God Bless you all.

I am excited for what is in the works. God is mysterious indeed; but He provides all that you need. Why worry? why fear?...FAITH!
Without Him, our creator, maker, father, King of Kings, and above Everything- we are all empty and can do nothing. I seek to be full of Him. Empty of all else.

Thank YOU for all that you do, for caring, and for loving without any expectations...that's God shining through you.

"Overcome the world with Love"~SG

SMYRNA

I don't know what it is but I feel like this week has been long. Chops put me in check when he told me that it was only Tuesday after I was saying how I was glad that the week was almost done- lol.
It was an interesting day actually. I saw two movies today in two of my classes now that I think about it. Both of which I recommend everyone, plus their mother, to go and see them!

1st- Motorcycle Diaries;
a good movie about Che Guevarra's travels before becoming the revolutionary that made him a legend. I saw it before going to South America, and seeing it again after being there for six months- big difference. Seriously, I felt like a such a softy when I started tearing up when they showed the poor, sick, and oppressed people of countries like Peru and Bolivia...it hit the heart cuz that's what I say and lived with first hand while there...if anything it helped me understand the things that break and touch my heart.

2nd- There Will Be Blood;
now this movie seriously got me convicted and made me spiritually uneasy. Good movie- yes. However it made me realize that how weak the church can be when it is not Faithful or committed to the Truth...after seeing that movie, I literally had to go on a prayer walk and vent off all the spiritual attacks that were in this film.
Watch the movie and I hope you'll be convicted to not be a weak lukewarm 'christian' that bends from the truth in the face of persecution.

REVELATION2:8-11; take to heart the message to the church of Smyrna...

'Be Faithful unto DEATH'- burn this into the hearts of every believer who seeks you as savior. Let it ring continually in our ears and minds.

'Be Faithful unto Death'

God Bless you

surfacing

A change in course. In my head, I had my bags already packed and in hand thinking that I knew exactly where I was going, thinking I already knew what I was going to be doing, thinking that I already knew who I was to serve.
But the poop hit the fan and took me off guard. I was knocked senseless off of my high horse of control and certainty.

HUMBLED.

But sooner than later, I gained understanding. I know see that I being taken to greater things. I'm being pushed off my usual treading ground and am being called to seek out a new area to do work

...I see the light; the audible command to speak, to teach, to build up.
I'm being taken places that I haven't been before. I'll be on the frontline with those who know not the truth. I'll be speaking to those in need of the Fire that burns deep and blazes the path to a life that is not of this world...FTW.

Do it up son.

*Redline energy drink-> bottle o'crack

Fire

May I take time each and every day that I live to stop
To stop and be still
To lift up my eyes, my sight
To the place from where hope and love rain down from
And may my heart and soul proclaim to my
Maker, Creator, and Almighty King:
'Give me the Fire.
Give me the Fire...TO BURN AGAIN'
Let the fire come down and burn within every heart that beats
And within every spirit needing what is true amongst the flood of lies
Rise up
Open your Eyes
Open your HEART
BURN for the glory of the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords

DGR

SuaVe248E
-DINK253E
--DARKO256E
--FIFA276E

What you see above is my family line. It has been established- to keep a family line tight and close and to strengthen the pride and bonds and brothers:
We are proclaiming ourselves and future descendants as the
Dirty Ghetto Reds of the Matador family.

DGR- its what we are.

FTW FTW FTW

Getting away is the best when you are stressed and weary. Like a breath of fresh air, getting away and intimate with the one who created you is overpowering, overwhelming, weakening, yet so peaceful...
Time away from the 619 was much needed and awesome. Being in Riverside has made me realize that I really don't have a place to call 'home'. This doesn't mean that I don't have a place to live. I do live in a house with other bros and usually crash at other friends places when traveling. But 'home' is no longer a place that I can go to now.
My home is not here and never will be. I had a home; but til I leave this life on earth I will never be 'home'- that place of rest and comfort where I can simply stay and know that I belong there and nowhere else
Nothing here will satisfy like being home with my maker, your maker, our maker- God Almighty.

There is that need also. That need to remain faithful as He is faithful. Why is it so tough to be full of faith? faith-full to Him that gives all and is all?

Why do we put our flesh before blood?? Why do we fall so quickly?!

We need a covenant. A covenant to stay true, to stay pure, to stay in the light.
In the words of Thommy Green from SG:
Your Heart is Mine. COVENANT. Your Heart is My Heart. NEVER FORGET.

never forget.
never forget.

Holy Spirit- Convict us. Guide us. CHANGE us.

Blood before flesh. Christ before me. Christ the King...
May I stay true to my name. May I follow Him Always.
Stay True- you who are called Christian- Stay True

Dirty Vegas

Dirty Vegas is right- days really do go by.

We are all being worked on; we all are growing, changing, learning, seeking, loving, gaining, losing.
Though all this is happening- I somehow have found some peace. I get anxious though. But it's because of my wants not being met, my desires and expectations and plans being frustrated and thown out of wack.

Yet through all that has and is happening- LOVE has the final word; it just does.

I have no idea of what's going to happen beyond this moment in which I am in now.
We are supernaturally provided with all that we need and more.

Gotta have faith.
God is gracious.
I don't deserve none of this; I wasn't even seeking it!
yet- God is gracious and has provided His blessing on preparing me for something greater to come.
Gotta have faith.

DELIGHT?

Turkish delight.

that's a picture/photograph/image/jpeg of it.
Take a good look.
It changes after you go deep into it.

Turkish delight?
OR
Turkish counterfeit crack that's different colors??!!!

...
Sketchy stuff, my friends
Sketchy stuff

Always pushing forward- TO THE DEATH!

I read Phil3:12-16 and what struck me was 13 and 14...

"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do:
forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,
I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus"

For most of my walk with Christ I have been a person who seeks to live with no regrets- so far so good- it's all about perspective really (read previous entry for some insight).
But it's not that we are to disregard our past, our roots, where we've come from- that would mean forgetting all the blessings that God Almighty has bestowed upon you in times past. Rather it's seeking God's call in the here and now and beyond; while also using hindsight to gain wisdom and understanding as you push forward.

Now, I'm not trying to preach to you but just sharing how the Word has guided me to see that what I have been seeking and pursuing in the past- which were not the right places but rather lessons learned- has been in front of me during this whole time...and it's now, in His time, for me to see that it has been in front of me this whole time- except now it's glowing brightly like a neon sign.

No need to complicate it, no need to look elsewhere...cuz' it's right there!
***What you've been stretching and straining to seek in high and low places is actually within easy reach...hmm.

Let's do this then...I've got nothing to lose but much to learn...

Thank God for HINDSIGHT

SIMPLY_SAID...

If you could see what I can, then you would understand
If you could see what I can, please open your eyes

Open your eyes, open your heart, open your eyes, open your

How could you see what I can, how could you understand
How could you see what I can, please open your eyes

Open your eyes, open your heart, open your eyes, open your

He loves you, He loves you, He loves you, He loves you


~Open by No Innocent Victim~

something to ponder and apply

Live so as to Die
So that you may
Truly LIVE



Am I doing this?


LOOKINGFORWARD- SG at 777Church (11/2), The Great Commission at the MAAC(11/8)

it's hardcore with Heart- HEARTCORE

I'll try to do give more attention to the dinkdankdo...anyways- PEACE Ya'll

All I have...All I need.

These are more than words...

"The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed,
A refuge in times of trouble.
And those who know Your name will put their trust in You;
For You, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You."
~PSALM9:9-10~

“But you, Israel, are My servant,
Jacob whom I have chosen,
The descendants of Abraham My friend.
You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth,
And called from its farthest regions,
And said to you,
‘ You are My servant,
I have chosen you and have not cast you away:
Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'"
~Isaiah41:8-10~

"that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of
wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling,
what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power"
~Ephesians1:17-19~

Prayer- we all need to do more of it.
I'm praying especially for- Mauricio, Ricardo, Cesar, Mike, and Luis.
Though not listed, you know that I'm praying for YOU too.


PROS-
-being challenged in more ways than one at HYP
-the Spirit speaking through me at ghetto Pho fo dinner
-solitude

If anything, I want to be brave.
If anything, I want to be changed.

Look back and...

NO REGRETS

Good, Bad, Happy, Sad
it's all the same
it's all for a reason

NO REGRETS

GORSHIP

It's late and I have an earlier breakfast date with my bigbro but I know that if I don't do this entry now then I will put if off later when I will forget stuff that happened tonight.
So what happened tonight? Scream the Prayer 2008- a hardcore concert tour me and my lil'bro both went to. So I've been to several hardcore shows before this one- but this one was different.
The music was hardcore and there was plenty of moshing- that was the same- but it was the message that the bands gave that just stood out like a hot chili pepper inside an apple pie...
Right from the beginning of the 10-band show, I noticed that some bands gathered together to pray before starting their sets or even just talking about Jesus Christ in between their songs. What struck me was seeing an older man in the crowd, next to me in the 3rd row from the barricade, rather than throwing his fist in the air as the bands played- he held up in the air a good-sized crucifix that he wore around his neck.
The bands that definitely stood out to me- War of Ages, Impending Doom, and Sleeping Giant.
Even after all the bands played, some guys from ID and SG came down to the floor- and started praying for people who needed it. I couldn't help but stay along and pray with them and lay hands on the kids who came forward for prayer...May the Truth and the Light of God continue to infest the Hardcore- it needs it bad!
I felt so honored and blessed to being to talk and chat with Tommy (in the white) and Brooke (far left)- the singers of SG and ID. Being prayed for by Tommy was just so moving; he recited scripture and even gave me references that would help me out.
HAHA! I never expected to get the power of prayer at a hardcore concert venue...

God and the Spirit have no boundaries!!- W O R D

*the tour just started- if interested to attending a show- do it! See God work in ways that you've never seen before.

DON'T JUDGE- BUT LOVE.

MORE THAN WORDS

It is quite astonishing just how much one can experience and learn in the matter of 10 days. Going to Houston, meeting some hardcore people with Texas accents, then laboring for the Lord in Costa Rica.
To be completely honest, God blessed me abundantly while I was away. He made me lead and shepherd people amidst language barriers and just helped me to meet some strong people that taught me and challenged me things that will strengthen my walk with the Almighty. He definitely opened some doors for me but now its just relying on the Spirit to direct my steps.

*Josh (in the hat) and the Interns- Hardcore people with HEART


Being built up in maturity
Yet having to face the immature
Seeking the truth
and trying to stay protected from this world
Having Heart
Yet seeking to be more compassionate


~Proverbs4:23-27~
"With closest custody guard your Heart, for in it are the sources of life.
Put away from you dishonest talk, deceitful speech put far from you.
Let your eyes looking straight ahead, and your glance be directly forward.
Survey the path for your feet, and let all your ways be sure.
Turn neither to right nor to left, keep your foot far from evil."
~Proverbs4:23-27~

The Word of Truth- Take more than words, take LIFE from this.

keep it in your head.

Bitter Sweet

I'm Back; safe and sound. More to come when energy rises...but as for Bob, whom I found on the Caribbean coast, he says '"doobie doobie doooooo...."

Photographic Evidence...AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

1- My final moments with the locks and throwing it up for the homies. 2. Work in progress
3. The Cholo Stage
4. CLEAN
5. Emo...

so now you the truth...

A New Start

Memory Verse:

-Eccl 5:4&5-

"When you make a vow to God, do not be late in paying it;

for He takes no delight in fools.

Pay what you vow!

It is better that you should not vow, than that you should vow and not pay."

-Eccl5:4&5-

Today marks the end of an era, the end of a vow- but the beginning of so much more.

Numbers 6 is what led me to take this act of consecration for the Lord. You can argue all you want about not needing to follow OT law or whatever but who can judge or criticize my unique personal relationship with Lord and what the Spirit compells me to do?...

What have I learned from vowing to not putting a razor to the hair on my head and face and avoiding strong drink for close to a year? That we are all consecrated unto God. We are all set apart for His use and Glory. It is so easy to disregard and overlook this!

For me- I was called to take a vow in order to help me learn this.

God definitely blessed me and used me during that time of physical consecration; and He continues to do so. So despite all the opposition to cutting the locks that have adorned my head for so long AND being straight up convicted by Eccl5:4-5, I am obeying the Spirit in breaking and completing the vow as I go abroad to do missions work in Costa Rica.

I wanted to post some pics of my freshly shaved face and dome-but I am having some technical dificulties in uploading them...so stay tuned for they'll be posted when I return.

PLEASE PRAY!!!

Before signing off. Here's some Truth from Proverbs.

Proverbs28:5-

"Evil men understand nothing of justice.

But those who seek the Lord understand all"

PEACE and God Bless

LOVE SONG

Some words from Blood for Blood-

Tonight this one's for us.

Hey brother!
I see what they done to you.
Hey brother!
Can you see what they done to me to?
No where to turn and we got nothing to lose,
But you can count on me if I can count on you. It's true!

***GRATEFUL***

~1Thess1:2-3~
"We give thanks to God always for all of you, remembering you in our prayers, unceasingly calling to mind your work of faith and labor of love and endurance in hope of our Lord Jesus Christ, before our Good and Father"
~1Thess1:2-3~

God is awesome. He blesses us sooo much that I always need to just check myself when I start taking things for granted- no matter how big or small- I can not expect anything as a broken sinner; yet God showers down his love, care, and blessing. May I ALWAYS be grateful and cherish it all. Lately I have felt the great blessing of the relationships that God has put in my life; like when someone spends most of their day with you as you get your car fixed and just keeps you company when they can easily be doing something else, or when someone who reaches out to you and wants to be around you to simply talk about life and share what is on their heart, or when someone just simply calls you to see what you are doing...
I understand that my relationship with God, my Father and daddy in Heaven, is first and foremost; but I can not disregard the relationships with the people that are part of my life.

Thank You
Thank You
THANK YOU ALL! You are all beautiful people and hardcore blessings in my life.

PROS (just 10)-
-GOD
-mami and papi
-not having to wake up early
-Boba
-ghetto Mexican food
-playgrounds
-being the namesake with Doug Funnie's neighbor
-80's in '08!
-relationships
-YOU and the things you do that show you care

psh!!...Trust in a pinche fish? meyn, trust in da LORD!

Summer...It has arrived. I still don't believe it; just seems like it came with no warning at all...like that uncle or cousin that randomly shows up to family get-togethers unexpectedly.
How's it been so far? Good, fun, and random. There was the outing to try ghetto Milk Tea Boba(all about it!)==>,
then seeing God work at a YMCA playground by running away from a vicious 4-year old kid, having the apartment all to myself, my clutch pedal going completely kaput, a random two hour Sea World visit to see shamu with Chacho, Marie Calendars with Pebble Beach and free iced tea refills, ghetto and weird dinners (i.e. cold fried chicken with watermelon, cold pasta, rooster sauce, and Rice Dream rice drink) with some people each night that are near and dear to me, AND finding escape via cruising on my skateboard.

PEACE!

Homey D. Clown (^_,^)

Ight so as I have just been browsing through slide after slide of about 22 lecture powerpoints for my last final. I started thinking to myself- 'dude...this sucks, homie'- which just led me reminiscing of my fond memories of back in my childhood as a kid growing up in a ghetto neighborhood and watching old re-runs of 'In Living Color' on FX- it was like the Mad TV of the late 80's and Early 90's. (that's right, I have hardcore memory!) Thanks to youtube, I can re-live the old memories of Damon Wayans as...Homey D. Clown.



Oh I love it! Notice the Plaid shorts that were in style way back then? and how today no one wears them-oh wait...never mind....
Seriously this skit gives some insight into just how ghetto and dumb me and my older brother were (i.e. stuffing tube socks and jacking each other the homey way and yelling 'Homie don't play dat!' which interestingly just always ended up with us wrestling until one of us said MERCY!)

Anywayz...I don't know how I am able to be so nocturnal but I ain't complaining really.
Time is valuable.
I always remind myself- Relationships are the only real thing that you can take with you when you die AND that one way Love is spelled: T-I-M-E.
Why didn't I ever enter the Spelling Bee competition?...boggles my mind.

FYI- I'm glad I'm not a pledge right now......I feel I must emphasize again from my prev. entry: Impending Doom
...the breaking down shall begin soon.

~God Bless You all.

ps- did you know anything about 'In Living Color' or even know about Homey D. Clown in the past? I'm curious.

¡¡[*>*]!!...ayii...

For Your Information*: a thickly loaded PB&J+ Grilled Cheese sandwich+ Glass of 2%milk+ all in one sitting=...Bloating Piercing PAIN!!!

Eh, I'm okay.

Anyways...come June 2nd, this Brown Colombian is jet setting to the beautiful land of Costa Rica.
ALL expenses PAID. I was chosen to lead a high school group of kids in a work project that will be helping to build up a church that is forming in a poor community. According to the Director of the program, we will be working on the labor project for 5 days and the last 2 days are dedicated to: chillin' at the beach...word up, son...It'll be good to be back to 'Brown America' (way sooner than expected)PROS (just the Top 8):
- the Power of Prayer
- Friday night dinner with Chinese people ;)
- tea time chats
- a brother's wedding and practicing my Spanish skills with a Mexican brother in Christ who
initially didn't know he was my Mexican brother in Christ
- David Chan
- yerba mate
- first Colombia, then Chile, and now Costa Rica- The 3C
- AND the pledges awaiting the Impending Doom of BIG I

God Bless you all. Pray for China, for Burma, and for each other.

*attempt at your own risk...

HAVE HEART!

This week has felt long for some reason. Maybe it's due to my extreme late nights (up til 5am twice so far) and early classes and not really resting enough in the time in between; or maybe it's because a lot has been on my mind lately...discerning between what I want and desire vs. what I should and need to do- the tiredness that has been keeping me in this haze of laziness has been the Tapatio topping off this phat burrito load that is my week...that is a phat load indeed.
Well, today I just didn't focus on the work that I need to do and spent some good alone time with a bro and realized that we are both in very similar situations right now. It's cool though 'cuz sometimes I need someone to just be confirming what the Spirit is already telling me.
It's funny how you just randomly run into people that you don't expect to run into at random places; how you talk about your relationship with a certain someone with a bro, then you just randomly end up seeing them somewhere random and unexpectedly...just got me thinking...
Well, right now I feel that I have been blessed with something that's awesome but at the same time I must 'handle with care'...
PROS-
-being unexpectedly cool and on good terms with a sister and laughing about where we are now-
-the long talk and walk to my car
-having a bro that can relate
-the newly burned copy of Minor Threat that's in my car's cd changer
-revisiting Pokez soon...hopefully

ps- I wonder if I'm going to see Means on Monday night??...hmm?

131

¹"O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.

²But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.

³O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time on and forevermore."

~Psalm131~

...WORD...anyways, I'm itching for a Pho trip or Pokez...who's interested?

what does a genius drink?...

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Here is photographic proof that the world's greatest genius drank...Yerba Mate. I like to speculate that my man Albert was ghetto brown in the inside though white on the outside. What make me so proud is that he drank it the only way it should be drunk- in a gourd with a filter straw...dang- I feel honored that I'm somewhat connected to Einstein's legacy by simply being a fellow Mate drinker...just proves that we're all connected in more than one way.

May he be RIP.

PROS-
-being nocturnal
-doing work
-letting you know that I love you and am praying for you

I'm done...chao!

Too Legit to quit

I don't know how I have energy right now. I've gone through much in just the past two days or so...I'm now officially grasping the reigns of Chaplain for the Fraternity. It's only been like two days and I've been talking and meeting with people who have been giving me a bit of a taste of what's to come next semester. Emo, Brooks, Venish, Shox, Ashley, BigBro, Cesar and others... Love, Wisdom, and Encouragement.
2Tim2:15...there's no way I can do this on my own.


"Be the change that you want to see"
-David 'Shox' Shokair

PROS-
-AGO banquet and the hair
-ADX banquet and talking about life with the homies
-gaining peace about future uncertainty
-getting Pho'd up with Emo
-learning to be firm and bold in the Truth
-Venetian commenting about marriage: "Children are the worst STD"

~waiting 'til Kingdom come and my His will be done~

wake up...it's the first of the month

Today- Thursday May 1st, 2008- is regarded as the National Day of PRAYER (www.ndptf.org) For those of you who have been acting the deaf mutes with the Almighty...well, here's another reason to cry out your heart to the Lord...I've got plenty of prayer needs for others that don't even include my own personal petitions.

NDP- celebrate it everyday.

PROS-
-walking and talking with my Father
-finding my passport and the hope of service abroad in Costa Rica
-getting confirmation of being a summer camp counselor at HorizonYouthProgram!
-striving to be conquered by nothing other than the Spirit
-sharing wisdom
-vision for next semester


God Bless YOU.

the deepness

Here's an interesting fact about me; you know that I'm bored and not focused during class lecture when I whip out my bible and/or Christian book that I'm currently reading.
I must confess- it happened today.
My professor for one of my Public Health classes said that the scheduled guest speaker went M.I.A so he just started talking about the wonderful world of being a dentist...but I ended up reading about Paul's message to the church in Corinth.
Interesting how I needed to study abroad to figure out that I'm not passionate about the corporate business world- I'm finding the same kinda happening with my minor in Health Science...
Focusing on the present in order to see the future. Seek HIM and gain Peace.




PROS-
- passing out for 3hrs
- revisiting the Asian part of SD and realizing just how much I dig it
-finding out that (according to Chops) the 3 things that come out of Colombia are: coffee, cocaine, and Christian Dink Cuellar. Word Up.
- just cruising and playing taxi for a sister in need
- my lil'bros
- Power of Prayer


I am sending you strength
No matter where you are nothing changes
~connected

...we are connected...we are connected indeed

T

Are you bound by the coffee bean? Do you feel that there is nothing else that can suffice the effect of this notorious bean? Fear not, for there is a better way- I encourage you to cross over into the simple and exciting world of tea.
It's ironic how I was re-introduced to tea when I was served some legit loose green tea after a rough metalcore concert experience over spring break- Thanks Luganda. Drinking tea again took me back to my days when I sipped on Yerba Mate on a daily basis while in Argentina.
Since immersing myself into the world of tea , I've experienced Berry Patch, Green Cherry Tea, and GunPowder Green Tea (fyi-it ain't called gunpowder for nothin') As is portrayed below- there are so many more flavors, blends, and types that I'm determined to conquer the tea spectrum...one sip at a time.
I'm not hating on coffee- that's like hating on my people- But you'll feel free with tea.


PROS-
-discovering legit coffee houses
-transforming early birds into night owls
-getting away for a bit

talk

waiting and praying...where's the path leading? I hope to find out soon.
My brother, my sister- I am praying for you.
Gain strength and wisdom from my scars. No regrets.
Seek the Truth and be not distracted.

PROS-
- my headbro
- sharing wisdom and knowledge with others
- doing it right

cooooookie!

I love how different each semester has been for me since I've been here. Seriously- I've gone from being a horrible (an understatement) pledge who saw school as #1 before anything else- including pledging, to a health nut/gym rat on creatine (as well as other stuff), to a backpacking undercover gringo in deep South America, and now as a follower of Christ that strives to passionately seek out and walk the Truth above all else...its a struggle but there's no other way.
Though I do not have the same strength that I once had, I now have strength that will never fade away- no exercise needed- think about that the next time you find yourself in the gym.

PROS- top 10
-visiting my good ol' ghetto brown indian friend that provides awesome Mexican cuisine and who appears to be missing an arm; weird
-enjoying the company of my few fellow ghetto brothers and sisters- you know who you are!
-being a night owl and being a sleep outlaw
-reliving my childhood years of playing soccer and realizing how my dad's sideline vocal Spanish 'coaching' is now a part of me
-house food
-lunch with Epsilon alumni with a large side of wisdom
-the Power of Prayer
-appreciating sans-CGI movie classics
-being sought out for random outings
-upper elementary kids at the noon service guessing just exactly how old I am

pho love

Among the many activities and leisures that I have had the opportunity to take advantage of throughout this semester of being back in the country this semester*, my love and appreciation for ghetto legitimate Asian food places have impacted me and helped me be able to connect and share with people that I love and care about.
Pho noodle restaurants have a special place in my heart. It all started early this semester with having my first visit to one with an old friend and sharing our experiences in traveling through South America in Fall 2007. After that first visit and exposure to Pho and the legitimate Asian environment of the restaurant- every time I go, I make sure to not go alone and to share that experience with someone who is courageous and daring enough to come with to try something different.
I'm going later today with my bro Rooph- an alumni from Epsilon and full of wisdom.

^^^Pho- it all about love, sharing, and the best Asian noodle soup that I have tried...yet.
get into it!

PROS
-getting 'unofficially' hired on as a counselor for a summer day camp with my head bro Shonen.
-hermanito time
-allowing the Spirit to speak through me


as always- much love and respect to you. fyi- Bloggers are Hardcore.

~LATERS


*check out my first blog- www.dinkcuellar.blogspot.com for more about my abroad semester in Chile.

Cristo Rey

Anxiousness, worry, fear, stress, desperation- all are extinguished by the power of the only true King. I'm constantly reminded that I can't do this alone...

walking alongside the heavenly king- this AIN'T EASY; no one said it was.

Christianity-> it's all about doing what you don't want to do- word up, pastor Miles.

When I'm so past E on my tank that I'm on F- so tired that I would not have the strength to get up if I fell down- my heavenly King swoops me off my feet and carries me; and just like a kid in the back seat of a car on a long drive home- I find rest.



PROS-
-serving, yet wanting to do more
-fitting in Dinko time into spring break
-FACEDOWN records and marking down future show dates
-being carried by the King
-YOU

Peace...peace....peace. Let Him rule as King over ALL.

Up In Smoke

I've broken free
My trust and hope is in the Lord- right where they belong for me.
Thank God for not making it messy.
...Let's do things right this time, shall we?

Well on a different note.
I love how God teaches us new things even when we do not know it. You could be doing your thing, nothing special in particular, but He always seems to put in His two cents that make you stop dead in your tracks. Follow His tracks, not your own.

Spring Break 2008 brief overview:
-late night random outings with my rad sisters
-trip up to UCSB Zeta chapter and uncovering the mystery of my brother LINK
-LA Galaxy trip and seeing Beckham and Donovan score goals.
-Avett Brothers Concert with Banjo and practicing for 'Captured'
-floor stomping, banging, and bleeding at a hardcore metal concert with Nasa, Luganda, Venda, and Alexa

LIFE-> Here are some wise words from the singer of the band, Endure the Fall- 'it is what it is. You make it what you want to make it.'

Thank YOU for your love and attention. It's good to see that some people care. I respect you and am praying for you.

You're a blessing in my life.

Be Hardcore or Die!...God Bless you.

bReAk stuff

not only is this relating to spring break but also to the lovely song by LimpBizkit.
Randomness has constituted my break so far- it's a good thing.
I've been around new and familiar faces that I haven't seen very much of lately... Weird though when you can't help but hope for something in the future that is near and dear to heart and yet they just seem to tear that hope to a pile of pieces.
Is this hope part of a bigger picture that is being slowly developed? I want to know- let me know!
I don't want to be solo keeping this candle lit.
Should it be of me- then burn it away to nothingness so I can break away.
But if it's from the higher and almighty power- then may His will be done His way.

Peace be with you
<><

PROS-
-Banjo love
-Rock Band
-Finally getting my blue ministry shirt

insight

...It’s true the way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you’re not with me
I’m with you
You
Now I see keeping everything inside
You
Now I see
Even when I close my eyes...

the 3rd day

Easters_2008- by far the best and most enjoyable easter that I've experienced so far. It's awesome just how well my parents get along with my lilbro's family. I only really see my mom and dad like 2 to 3 times a year but each time I see them it seems that they both are more and more ridiculously ghetto than before- and that's just one of the many reasons why I love them so much.

PROS-
-SeaWorld with my adpotive familia (the LeRays)
-Eating!
-realizing just how undeservingly and abundantly blessed I am...

PURGE

it's the last lap of a race that always seems to be the toughest; there have been times where I just wanted to quit; fall over and not get up...but you gotta keep the faith, the hope, and the LOVE.

"Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize" ~1COR9:24-25

*Give until there's nothing left*

PROS-
-Rock service and Miles talking about the #3
-altar call
-buffet!

gangsta's paradise

sapped of my energy.
feeling poop tired.
I need You to keep going.
endure, trust.
May I keep going and keep working...even if it kills me.
Break me down- for this is what I asked for.

All will fall away- what will remain?
Truth
and that is all

PROS-
-shopping
-shakes
-Easter Sunday with the parents

Praying for you

Well today has been full of breaking down yet being put back together.
After handing over about 316 bones to a mechanic, my car has been restored to operational status. I love you, Chacho.
Then came some intense breaking; I saw not with my own eyes and witnessed the hurt and pain and suffering. I was compelled by a higher authority and overwhelming felt the power of the Spirit that knocked me off of my feet.

I love you and you are all in my heart

*And so starts the sacrifice and the emptiness of self in order to become overflowing with that which comes from above...Love.

waiting

Soon it'll be over. May God's will be done.
Regardless of the outcome; let us all move along in love.
Funny how God answers and acts so quickly- sacrifice and loss; its pruning time.
Lose the dead weight and allow the holiness to shine!

...God Bless you all

down but not dead

down: describes the operational status of my G20 automobile. Hope that it'll be back to shape without breaking the bank or getting towed for parking reasons.

not dead: an alive passion of my spirit. I'm over all the selfishness and the excuses. Get your eyes off of your req'd sacrifice and look at the bigger picture; don't divide and conquer or spread your selfish attitude to other younger brothers. UNITY for CHRIST. see outward spiritually not inward selfishly. Get your attitude and heart right with Christ.

Do what you want- just don't bring down the house with you.

"Pray without ceasing"!
~1Thess 5:17


May His will be done.

whatever

I spoke. But I feel that I could have done better... I did all I could. The message doesn't change, only the way that it's packaged.

Let's live it out, shall we?

hole in the wall

After a year and a half of being a SDSU student- I have finally seen the beauty and blessing of Trujillos. Aside from being an awesome hole in the wall Mexican place- it's a place marked with intense share time experiences with some awesome bros, awesome grub, and ghetto brown people that are somehow all related to each other. It's an added bonus that I don't have violent diarrhea shortly after each visit...I dig it and thank God for it.

PROS-
-Chops
-Reed
-getting prepared for next Wednesday night
-...and so much more

no strings on me

Guy Retreat- spring 2008. Definitely unlike any of the past semesters. Being in the quiet empty desert was definitely an awesome and peaceful experience. Getting lost is actually fun- when you have a divine and almighty guide to get you back safely.
So I have a new lil'bro and have kinda figured that God has destined my family to be brown...funny how it's happened; but I'm not complaining.
+hope to post some visuals of the highlights.

PROS-
- rad talks with Burton
- my chacho
- my hermanito
- digging
- being brown and proud

*prayhardprayharderprayhardprayharderprayhard...liveharder*

¡¿UNDER
STAND?!

engage

obedience comes before understanding.
There's no why or hesitation.
LOVE conquers all.
The burning inside that won't subside.
Feelin high, yet being herbal free
Off of the carrier boat and into the battleground...
a purpose that was unknown
is now being found

el bigotudo= the mustached one

FOUNDER's Day Weekend

here's a re-cap:
spent the night before the big day with the younger twin bros and my lil'bro in Riverside to celebrate my bigbro's mom's birthday- I love his family. Then were arrived somehow on time to Burbank for the ceremony with the rest of the AGO chapters. Pretty much having Epsilon get the Administrative Excellence Award again was a big highlight of the event- we got it last year when I was Secretary and again this year with my lil'bro in the Secretary shoes- It felt awesome to see it happen again. 3-peat??
At the after party I loved chatting with the alumni and having one of them actually remember everything about my bible study (remembering what book it was on and stuff) that I did last spring and even ask me about how my semester abroad was without me telling him about it...Fruity, you made my day.

Strong the ties

PROS-
- looking like a ghetto 30year old at founders day- it the sanchez stache that does it...honestly!
- In &Out shakes
- teaching the Word
- sharing wisdom

...Good God...

this week has been awesome
it will continue to get better as the weekend draws near.

so Thursday night I started a little thing I call
'The Power of Prayer'
-it's Tuesday and Thursdays at 10pm at AGO and open to anyone who would like to join me and others (hopefully) in prayer about anything; be advised, however, it's all about going DEEP and allowing the Spirit to come and take control during powerful and passionate prayer.

-the first Poer of Prayer meeting went really good; pretty much it was me, my Bigbro, Chops, Shade, and Versace gathering together and give it all up to the Almighty King...Awesome- I have mad respect for these peeps and hope that more are able and willing to join in the Power of Prayer.

PROS
- getting New Era SD skyline Caps with my lil'bro and Shonen; hopefully more 'brown outtings' will happen throughout the semester.
- yogurt express
- discovering more about my pledgebro and loving being a BetaZeta all the more.

**Last but in NO way least- I'm officially claiming Arsenal as my squad in the Premier League...dang it's good to be a Gunner!!!

Good tidings to you all

trembling

the Spirit is powerful...I weaken at its presence.
It's lit me on fire and I'm called to burn up all those who need light.
Let's get to it and jack em hard

PROS
-touring SD due to a surprise family visit- truly America's Finest City
-seeing David Cooper passionately speak at the Rock;
he's down with Samson too_WORD
-seeing the need to go DEEP and taking the dive!

PASSION, LOVE, OBEDIENCE, GOD

----that is all----

*almost forgot*
BIBLESTUDY is this Wednesday at 8pm at AGO- be there

XIV

Bold love...sometimes its necessary. Just like sometimes breaking something down is the only way to make it stronger and better.
There are times where you must teardown in order to buildup
OR you can avoid the pain and change thus remaining weak and shaky.

mean?changed?not the same?...nope
its more like- wisdom, mature growth, and focus.
Don't be afraid or intimidated!
Step out the bubble for a bit and hopefully you'll understand.

PROS
-Shox time
-an old supervisor saying that I reminded him of someone from the 60's (YES!!!)
-deepness and coffee wit da familia
-finally discovering that I'm one of the 'old guys'...whatever


wooooweeeee for being freeee!

lets go AZZZtek... ;/

seeing the Aztecs get owned by these 'new' mexicans was somewhat like someone jabbing their finger slowly into my ear canal. I feel like I wasted my gang banger get-up debut on such a crap game...whatever- free t-shirt tho- WOOOO!

*note to self- think beforeth thy speakest. My brain and mouth sometimes break their relationship at random times.

PROS
-not spending a single dime today!
-sequel's filthy mullet hair
-loving on my bigbro
-being FREE on the 14th!...FREEDOM!

CONS- nada...

'He must increase, but I must decrease'- John3:30

this is definitely truth. For me this has resulted in wisdom, peace, love, everlasting faith,...and losing like 10 to 15 lbs of mass- but whatever. I don't care anymore- I've broken chains and am free. I control nothing and let the Lord steer me to His way...it's the best cruise control ever.


PROS
-the death of boy bands
-enjoying some Free 'pankekes' at Denny's for dinner with my bros Chops and Banjo
-seeing my lil'sis and pledgesis (finally!)
-being finally cool with certain somones


*fyi- there are never any CONS

now not later

It's on- I'm back in blog business while posing as a studious student in my advanced Spanish class.

this is just the beginning. I feel this build up of power and passion that starts in my bones and goes all the way to tips of my nails.

I'm getting up out of the stands and start my laboring for the KINGdom

This brotha goin' work- GET OUT